Taking Control

I believe that  we should take control over the relationship to avoid disappointments and scaring our men off (when we start to get too demanding). So instead of us telling them how we want the relationship to roll or how we want to be treated,we should make ways that will lead our men to treat us as fair as we want them to.

Women by nature has a tendency to get serious when we are in a relationship. We tend to care too much and we have high demands on our men. The sad thing about it is that, men in general cannot get that serious especially when it is still in the early part of the relationship. There's a high percentage that our boyfriend is the exact opposite of that suitor we fell in love with.  However, if you do not want to always and forever telling him how he should treat you----make him pursue  you.

We should learn to alter our behaviors to  make our men realize that our worlds does not only revolve around them. By altering our behavior means not waiting by the phone for him to call or text and not canceling plans when he decides he wants to see you, exactly not making your life all about him.

Make him Pursue you. You are  not playing games by making him pursue you. You’re forcing him to realize your value. While guys enjoy the pursuit, they hate it when you act in a way that is deliberately trying to get them to chase you. That’s just manipulative and no one likes that. Do not get him to pursue you by acting unavailable, actually be unavailable at all. It means fill your life with fun and meaningful activities. And do not cancel any of these fun, meaningful activities just because he calls and wants to see you. When you have a fulfilling life of your own that exists completely separate from him, you will automatically be seen as having great value.

Do not give him your  all; always leave him asking for more. When we invest in something, we value it more and it doesn't work that way with men. When you bend over backwards to please a man, you’re not really placing a high value on yourself and he doesn’t really have to do much work to land you.

Do not be needy. Aside from it gives our men the reason to manipulate us, their respect for our womanliness depreciates and it gives them the reason to take advantage of our weakness.  When your happiness is rooted in all sorts of things, not just him, you will never have to watch what you say or do for fear of coming off as needy because you will never be needy.

It took a long time, and a ton of heartaches to get me to do what I've written above, but I have finally learned my lesson (the hardest way though) and I’m here to spread the gospel! I will never, ever, prioritize my boyfriend over my life. I won’t even prioritize a him over a new episode of my favorite sitcom. If he really can’t see me when I’m available, he doesn’t get to see me at all. If he’s worth his rocks, and if he cares enough, he’ll rearrange his schedule and will find a way to see me (or would even leave his friends just to take glance at me).

Again, I’m not talking about game playing or manipulation---that will only backfire because no  man wants to feel like he’s being yanked along on a destination-less journey. Every man wants to feel like he’s working to achieve a prize. Once he gets that prize he feels like the happiest son-of-a-gun in the entire universe. He will put you on a pedestal, he will let you know he cares, he will happily show you off to anyone and everyone, he will wear you even when you’re tattered and falling to shreds , he will do whatever it takes to keep you because he knows how valuable you are.

When you are truly confident and independent, he won’t take you for granted, he won’t vanish for days at a time, he won’t tell you he “doesn’t want a relationship” and continue treating you as girlfriend anyway, he will lock it down because he’ll be too scared someone else will snatch you up if he doesn’t! You’re the prize, you’re the catch, you’re the most amazing girl to ever give him the time of day, your time is precious and he will do whatever he has to in order to make sure he gets to stay in your charmed world.